I have gathered several things (quotes, pictures, baubles, etc.) over the years that sit on the corner of my office desk (and all around my home). They serve as reminders of who I am and who I want to become. One of the things I placed there recently is a notecard with the following question: What place do you want to make decisions from?
Like every other person, I too have doubts and fears that impact my thinking, emotions, and decision making. When I was going through a recent transition, a coach asked me this question. She was inviting me to look at how my emotions and thoughts (and the fears connected to them) were driving my decision making because I was wrestling with some major decisions and letting my fears about the future (and my safety and my worth) have too much influence on my decision making. The fears and associated mindset were keeping me safe and also keeping me stuck. Reflecting on this question and with the support of a coach, I was able to get clarity and make decisions that were more aligned with my values and my vision for my life (who I want to be). Does it mean I never doubt myself or have those fears pop up? Absolutely not! It means that I use my choice muscles to recognize fear, put it in it’s place (in the back seat, not the driver’s seat), and make decisions that leave me feeling confident and free instead. The good news is that you can too!
I read this Entrepreneur article recently that prompted readers to consider what dominant question we are continuously trying to answer in our lives and encouraged us to reflect on how that question shows up in our lives and how we might need to tweak the question if it’s not serving us well. He gives the example of “How do I get people to like me?” showing up as a self-deprecating disposition, a personality that changes based on who the person is with, and that allows people to take advantage of them. Reading the article challenged me to consider what my dominant question is and how it is and isn’t influenced by my fears. I realized that my dominant question used to be “How can I control this situation/person to keep myself safe?” and that in the past 5ish years I have shifted it to “How can I choose joy in this situation?”
So I leave you with these questions to reflect on: How are your fears influencing your thoughts, feelings, and decision making? What are those fears if you drill down past the surface level? What’s your dominant question? How is that question connected to or free from your fears’ influence? How does your dominant question serve you? If it doesn’t serve you, what could be a meaningful new dominant question that serves your highest good? What place do you want to make decisions from?
As always, if you would like some support for getting clarity, you can book a time here for us to connect.